i miss you...

i hate not knowing what i want anymore, the fact that in such a short period of time, everything has changed.
i'm scared of what will happen if i continue to tread this path, but i'm scared of what won't happen if i change my route.
argh. i just don't know what to do to be happy. not even, just to stay happy. because i've had the best few weeks in a really long time, but at the same time, some of the people i wish i could be spending it with, i'm haven't. :(
it's selfish, but at least i had the time to try and sort myself out somewhat, get my head in a better place than it WAS... now all i do is try to fix those relationships i've let down.
if you know who you are... i'm sorry... i'm going to do everything i can to fix us.